The couch thread

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Cave Canem
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Cave Canem »

Who would have guessed that @fitters eating their own on the gaymes page and FB could nearly put this thread out of business?
Tantum validus superstes

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Gary John
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Gary John »

We are still adjusting to the loss of the rotary telephone.
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Cave Canem
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Cave Canem »

Incoherent man apparently talking about CrossFit workout
by Andre Sieg Heil, Aspen Daily News Staff Writer
Monday, April 1, 2013

In what first appeared to be a stroke or a psychotic break, local man Dave Cocket was apparently talking about his morning CrossFit workout within earshot of everyone at Peachy’s Corner Cafe earlier today.

Several witnesses reported Cocket proudly stringing words and numbers together in a chronology that defied logic and grammar, after ordering his quinoa breakfast bowl and coconut water.

“In the box I did 220 on 13 point 2,” Cocket reportedly told anyone who would listen. “That’s seven plus 10 with 115 and 24 inches.”

Standersby asked him if he was all right, offering to call an ambulance.

“The wod was cray and I pee-beed on amraps, dudes,” he responded to the horror of many. “Double unders and tabatas and emoms and burpees, bro, woot!”

A crowd of concerned diners circled around Cocket, attempting to assist him, but the attention seemed only to increase the intensity of his nonsensical monologue and chest-pounding.

“Totally RX’d when Billy scaled on muscle-ups,” he barked into his Bluetooth, watching himself in the reflection of the cafe window.

“Are you OK, sir?” his concerned waitress asked, right before her announcement that she is running for mayor of Aspen.

He appeared to snap out of his mumbling stupor, but then responded, “Ya, I’m paleo.”

First responders and well-known douche bags on the scene diagnosed him as a CrossFitter and spoke to him in his native tongue. They administered several daps and props to Cocket before leaving the coffee shop.

Sources from Facebook told the Daily Planet that Cocket had also taken to posting unfunny memes and videos about CrossFit in recent weeks, along with endorsing Adam Frisch for mayor.
The best April Fool's jokes are ones that you could actually believe happening.
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powerlifter54
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Re: The couch thread

Post by powerlifter54 »

The newest outrage i see in points east is the @fitter crowd slithering out of their backroom @fit box and out onto the gym floor where they now take up the power racks doing sumo high pulls and burpees with a pullup. Eurotrash are even doing it and they are really pathetic. i believe this can only lead to this war being lost.
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JonnyCat
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Re: The couch thread

Post by JonnyCat »

Seattleites, better jump on these tickets. I see a small fortune being made by scalpers.

Freedom Foundation: How to be a Playa

For $26.62, you get this:
"Be Better, Period." It's a phrase that burns in the hearts of true entrepreneurs. This mantra defines Greg Glassman's journey from a small-business owner in California to a nationally-renowned fitness sensation. Come hear from Greg himself how you, too, can shape your future.
Wonder if there will be a Q&A at the end. Would be a great time to ask about: The RRG, Anthos, Reebok, which gymNAST injury ended his career and gave him his signature gangsta limp and his preferred label of gin.

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Bobby
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Bobby »

And what kind of injury has stopped him from using the rest of his body.
You`ll toughen up.Unless you have a serious medical condition commonly refered to as
"being a pussy".

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baffled
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Re: The couch thread

Post by baffled »

Saw an advertisement for a local @F affiliate in a liquor store today. Didn't have any andro broads in it. The locals around here are either on the golf course and/or drunk as fuck all the time, or Mexicans and negroids. Not a great target market for several hundred dollars a month to blow a disc in your back.
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buckethead
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Re: The couch thread

Post by buckethead »

CrossFit Football’s John Welbourn: High-Intensity Power Training, Paleo Diet & More

John Welbourn is the big man behind CrossFit Football. A nine-year veteran of the NFL, he brings a multi-disciplinary approach to elite strength and conditioning.
I never got strong lifting light weights. Never got fast running slow. Never got smarter learning from dumb people. – John Welbourn, CrossFit Football
John played football for U.C. Berkeley and earned a bachelor’s degree in rhetoric
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TerryB
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Re: The couch thread

Post by TerryB »

Did he ever get fit training like a moron?
"Know that! & Know it deep you fucking loser!"

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Shafpocalypse Now
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Shafpocalypse Now »

Welbourn, like Wolf and Everett, and a few others, are upright folks, and whom have my respect for being knowledgable and effective, even of I might not agree with everything, on the big stuff, it's all good.

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Mickey O'neil
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mickey O'neil »

Christmas Abbott was on The Jason Ellis Show yesterday. Seems pretty cool for a @fitter. At least until she started wailing on about @fit but she wasn't too bad about it.

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Drew0786
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Drew0786 »

Mickey you need to start a thread for just the photos you use in your sig.

Now back to regular programming: Xfitters suck, Couch is drunk....
Take care and please.....................stay safe.

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tough old man
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Re: The couch thread

Post by tough old man »

I worked out in a college gym yesterday. It was squat day and had the pleasure of working in with 3 crossfitters. I think I hurt them when the squats got over 225. I tried to explain PL54s fun with quarters method but they couldnt go up 50. I was alone for the last hour, it was nice. They went on to powercleans sort of.
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Mickey O'neil
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Mickey O'neil »

I may do that.
Drew0786 wrote:Mickey you need to start a thread for just the photos you use in your sig.

Now back to regular programming: Xfitters suck, Couch is drunk....


I dig big chicks
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Re: The couch thread

Post by I dig big chicks »

Mickey O'neil wrote:Christmas Abbott was on The Jason Ellis Show yesterday. Seems pretty cool for a @fitter. At least until she started wailing on about @fit but she wasn't too bad about it.
She was on Real Sports with Bryant Gumbel last night. I didn't watch it, but I will try to catch the replay. I know her briefly from some clinics I did down her way. She was very cool and open when I met her, and definitely interested in talking about herself and how awesome she is. When she stopped being the center of attention, though, she turned bitchy real quick. Then she apologized and explained that's how she is.


Blaidd Drwg
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Blaidd Drwg »

I've never met Xmiss A but you can assess her for at least two personality disorders at a glance. If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary. This includes the Wolfs and Everetts who have been ejected from the hive.
"He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that." JS Mill


The man in black
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Re: The couch thread

Post by The man in black »

I'm starting to think Olympic lifters have been doing the split stance wrong all along and it is actually done by putting your feet out to the side. I understand sometimes shit form happens, I just can't understand posting up videos and pictures of it everywhere.


Blaidd Drwg
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Blaidd Drwg »

JonnyCat wrote:Seattleites, better jump on these tickets. I see a small fortune being made by scalpers.

Freedom Foundation: How to be a Playa

For $26.62, you get this:
"Be Better, Period." It's a phrase that burns in the hearts of true entrepreneurs. This mantra defines Greg Glassman's journey from a small-business owner in California to a nationally-renowned fitness sensation. Come hear from Greg himself how you, too, can shape your future.
Wonder if there will be a Q&A at the end. Would be a great time to ask about: The RRG, Anthos, Reebok, which gymNAST injury ended his career and gave him his signature gangsta limp and his preferred label of gin.
If I thought for a moment I could stay in character, I'd consider going but I imagine it's more tightly scripted than an inaguration speech.
"He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that." JS Mill

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Blaidd Drwg wrote:If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary.
I resent that.
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basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.


Blaidd Drwg
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Blaidd Drwg »

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary.
I resent that.
Goes treble for you.
"He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that." JS Mill

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WildGorillaMan
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Re: The couch thread

Post by WildGorillaMan »

Blaidd Drwg wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary.
I resent that.
Goes treble for you.

You wound me, sir.
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You'll Hurt Your Back

basically I'm Raoul Duke trying to fit into a Philip K. Dick movie remake.


Blaidd Drwg
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Blaidd Drwg »

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:
WildGorillaMan wrote:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary.
I resent that.
Goes treble for you.

You wound me, sir.
Sure, but it's extra and you have to bring your own ball gag.
"He who knows only his own side of the case knows little of that." JS Mill


I dig big chicks
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Re: The couch thread

Post by I dig big chicks »

Blaidd Drwg wrote:I've never met Xmiss A but you can assess her for at least two personality disorders at a glance.

That's the hottest thing about her.

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Sassenach
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Re: The couch thread

Post by Sassenach »

WildGorillaMan wrote:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:If the genesis of someone's fame is @fit, be wary.
I resemble that.
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milosz
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Re: The couch thread

Post by milosz »

Narcissist with no tits, I'll pass.

What's that Camille Crossfit chick up to? At least she had a hot accent.

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