knuckles wrote:I would be pissed off at your brother for risking his life and his fellow firefighters lives for going back in for a dead body. Your brother goes down ,now his homie has got to figure how to get to him and on and on ..I can see the situation with his best friend being a emotionally charged thing....but ...If they are gone ...you just don't do it...for everyones sake.
They seem to feel different, all I heard from most of them when I was up for his wedding is what a brave fucker he is, many telling me of him saving them when they thought they were as good as dead. Many tales of him coming out of collapsing houses with kids under his arm or Building going down, everyone thinking he was dead and out he fucking comes.
He's in a volunteer department in a small town that services a wider area in upstate NY, he has I believe the Firefighting Medal of Honour or something like that for his region and the bitch is when he went to the Utica FD to apply for a pro job he was told all slots were being held for the fucking Bosnians that have flooded and fucked up the area more than it already is. Yeah let's pass over a guy with more qualifications (Major structure fires, Aviation fires, different packs and all kinds of advanced EMT shit, if a school is offered he goes, pretty much the only way he gets out of NY.) than Batman and proven fucking hero and they want to play community organiser games for the sake of kissing ass to a bunch of fuckers my mentor (Trooper) went over there to stop them from shooting people and kicking them in ditches, so they can have a better country and they come here and it fucks my brother.
With his buddy, he was already in the building when he found him dead. He brought his buddy out and then went back in for the live ass hole chief, everyone else wanted to just let the fucker die. My bro wanted him to answer for what he had done. I do believe that chief went to jail over this? It was late 90's I think. All kinds of emotions in those guys when they told me this one.
My step dad who is also on the dept. has restrained him twice, once on a call and another time when another boyhood friend of ours committed suicide by ramming his Ford F-150 Lightining into a tree at 120. My bro was at a party down the street and heard it, so he ran towards the noise and as he got closer he saw who's truck and it was totally a blaze and the old man took him down and thumped him to take his wind out so he'd stay down. They both just held each other as they had to watch Steve's body burn.
Fucks me up as I type this, Steve was my friend too, knew him since he was 5 and I was 8, we played almost every day. My bother and him were even closer.
But yes he has knowingly gone in for bodies. You have to understand, everyone knows each other up there and I do believe it is usually a case of "I'm going to go in! Let me fucking go!" and being told if you go you are on your own. He's fine with that.
I asked him why and he says "You have to look at these people in the eyes when they ask you "Why couldn’t you get them out!" with tears in their eyes." and it fucking kills me man. Look at the guys you hang out with? What is it they say? Never leave a fallen comrade behind! Well that's how I feel. These other firefighters are my brothers and these people are my people. If I think I can make it I try. I've also had to step back and that's the worse feeling there is."
(He did say a couple times when it was a known lowlife he's not so insistent.)
He is old beyond his years, reminds me of some of my friends who went to Iraq and Afghanistan when he gets this look in his eyes, so I try not to bring anything up about firefighting and just talk family, shooting deer, MMA (He and Matt Hamil are good friends and he trains at Matt's gym) and the motorcyle stuff.
I worry about him a lot, I worry about his kids and for the old man but both of us were raised to look at life in a way that when you go in to a dangerous, you are dead already ( kind of makes you sharp while not letting fear you feel eat you up and freeze you, at least it's how it's felt for me a few times in some real nasty scrapes)because that's how his gramps made it through North Africa, Italy and Europe and how the old man made it back from S.E. Asia.
But I am no firefighter. I've stuck my neck out a few times for strangers but not like you guys do and not like my brother does. You guys stand in my eyes and heart right there with our best and bravest warriors and you are not killing people. That's a beautiful thing from where I sit.
