IGX

My lovely and beloved wife, who god bless her through these tough times has plumped up maybe a wee bit, was at the bike shop with me to pick up my new steed, and told me she wants a bike with a carbon frame in order to save maybe a LB or two. Hers is too heavy now.

Which ranks right up there with maintaining eye contact with her while having a beer at a Hooters.

Yeah, very common

You have achieved "Zen Master, 2nd Class."

I couldn't have done it. A while back I was telling my wife (incredulously) about a 40 year-old friend of mine who says his goal is to get down to 117 pounds, and when she says "*I* haven't even weighed 117 since..." just the split second before she said "...our wedding." my brain went and spat out "ever?"

Women. They're so touchy...

Shit. I just tell mine that if she gets fat and out of shape I am trading her in.

In all seriousness, I work too damn hard to stay in shape so we can have a fun and adventurous life on our off time to have her turn into a whale. Shapely and in healthy is fine, but if she decides to turn into a slob we will have a come to Jesus moment. I married for a partner in this life, not an anchor. That may sound harsh, but it's the truth. Having a baby and various health problems aside, I married her because we both enjoy being outside and DOING things. If she ever feels like that isn't the way she wants it, and she would rather have a house husband that just works and comes home to slob it away watching TV then it's time we realized that we want different things.

On the same line of thought, my wife recently had the same talk with me about my depression. I was working myself into a dark place and have been for years. She told me rather bluntly that I have a choice. I can slog it away working all the time and be miserable with money and no wife or I can quit my "part-time" (read full-time) job and start actually enjoying life with her again. It was the wake up I needed and I haven't been this clear of mind and happy in a long time.

This ability to be blunt and honest with each other has saved our relationship more than a time or two. I can't imagine having to tip toe around each other.

Sorry for the rant.

Dunn wrote:Shit. I just tell mine that if she gets fat and out of shape I am trading her in.

In all seriousness, I work too damn hard to stay in shape so we can have a fun and adventurous life on our off time to have her turn into a whale. Shapely and in healthy is fine, but if she decides to turn into a slob we will have a come to Jesus moment. I married for a partner in this life, not an anchor. That may sound harsh, but it's the truth. Having a baby and various health problems aside, I married her because we both enjoy being outside and DOING things. If she ever feels like that isn't the way she wants it, and she would rather have a house husband that just works and comes home to slob it away watching TV then it's time we realized that we want different things.

On the same line of thought, my wife recently had the same talk with me about my depression. I was working myself into a dark place and have been for years. She told me rather bluntly that I have a choice. I can slog it away working all the time and be miserable with money and no wife or I can quit my "part-time" (read full-time) job and start actually enjoying life with her again. It was the wake up I needed and I haven't been this clear of mind and happy in a long time.

This ability to be blunt and honest with each other has saved our relationship more than a time or two. I can't imagine having to tip toe around each other.

Sorry for the rant.

Marriage, Dunn right!

I envy you there.

If nothing else my wife provides my kids with good examples of how not to do things... ;)

Kirk wrote:If nothing else my wife provides my kids with good examples of how not to do things... ;)

I feel you there, man.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ZOc2I-Kbfk[/youtube]

I feel y'all as well. What makes it even worse is that I am an Adonis and so damn good looking.

So, those with fat wives....are you at least getting plenty of marital action?

Yes.

Well,she isn`t fat,but could be a bit slimmer.

i trust you trust you have let her know this.

perhaps offered exercise and dieting tips.

when delivered lovingly, advice like this is invariably well received.

i trust you trust you have let her know this.

perhaps offered exercise and dieting tips.

when delivered lovingly, advice like this is invariably well received.

I am not stupid enough to do this...

tough old man wrote:I am not stupid enough to do this...

What he said and "yes" to Shaf's question.

dead man walking wrote:i trust you trust you have let her know this.

perhaps offered exercise and dieting tips.

when delivered lovingly, advice like this is invariably well received.

An article, comrade!

dead man walking wrote:i trust you trust you have let her know this.

perhaps offered exercise and dieting tips.

when delivered lovingly, advice like this is invariably well received.

Honestly, it'd be better to just say, "god damn you got fat. WTF?"

kids,

you can do this.

despite his screen name, nafod sounds intimidated. be a fucking man.

start by addressing she whom you adore with a pet nickname. i use "sugar britches." it demonstrates that i know she's sweet, stylishly attired and hot.

then you can then proceed indirectly or directly.

the indirect approach builds off a related activity, her having her hair done, say, or the purchase of an item of clothing. while warmly observing how attractive she now appears, you can do a quick riff on how great she'd look if she dropped a few. you could say: you did that for the last high school reunion (god-daughter's christening, daughter's wedding or what have you). you could do it again, sugar britches. you might suggest that the pair of you could diet together, you know, a joint activity.

the direct approach would involve your putting your arm around her and squeezing a roll of fat. again, warmly observe how attractive she is, while transitioning to the thought of how great she'd look if she dropped a few, as she did for the reunion (daughter's wedding, christening) etc.

in either case, you can expect a reaction. tears are possible. a response that begins "i can't believe you just . . . " might be forthcoming.

don't flinch. this is what you are looking for: cartharsis. salty tears and dripping snot clear out accumulated toxins and prepare the way for the diet to end all diets. perhaps a spell of anorexia, but face it, she'll be sneaking chocolate, so you need not worry.

i will acknowledge that if the lovely and beloved makes remarks about her having wasted years with you and your pathetic little dick, you could be in for a rough patch. that's a low probability, though, don't you think? and in any case, there's no way she's not going to lose a few.

man up, boys.

That's the kind of knowledge you only get spinning around the sun for six or seven decades.

I bow to the master.

I remember the moment I lost that war. It was an early autumn evening and we were having a cell phone conversation while I was standing near some statue that's at the southwest corner of Central Park. The details of the conversation are irrelevant but at that moment I knew I was defeated. Suffice to say that it was a war of attrition; there were hints, encouragement, confrontation, and schemes. My success was similar to what I would have experienced if I'd tried to persuade a brick wall to lose a few bricks.

If the unthinkable ever happens and I have to carry her unconscious body to safety she's a goner. Should have listened when she had the chance.

Continual LOLs on this thread.

This thread makes me so happy to have a girlfriend.
Although, if she gained weight, there might be a chance she would end up having an ass.

dead man walking wrote:i trust you trust you have let her know this.

perhaps offered exercise and dieting tips.

when delivered lovingly, advice like this is invariably well received.

I tried this once. And I ended up being at the wrong end of a 'kata guruma'. So, no thanks, and fuck you very much.

Shafpocalypse Now wrote:So, those with fat wives....are you at least getting plenty of marital action?

My wife is bigger than she should be but I get all the pussy I can stand.

And my wife knows she's overweight so all I do is encourage her to do more regular cardio but she'd rather lift weights or do nothing at all.