IGX

Just a note to tell you that Obama likes muslims better'n Jews.

Have you wisened up and started betting on the lions and the tigers yet?

A beauitful pork loin wrapped in bacon will cure what ails ya.

Andy81 wrote:A beauitful pork loin wrapped in bacon will cure what ails ya.

Slip on your toaster-warmed diaper, put on the Lawrence Welk reruns, and get a good night's sleep.

Congrats on your defection to the GOP!

Hebrew Hammer wrote:
Slip on your toaster-warmed diaper, put on the Lawrence Welk reruns, and get a good night's sleep.

DUX MOVE THIS POST TO THE TRAINING FORUM

Andy81 wrote:Congrats on your defection to the GOP!

Andy,

if you keep on taking your ducolax and your walks around the halls as the nurses tell you, you'll be among that fortunate generation of Americans who have seen the glory of electing an African-American and then a woman President. Your dreams realized, you can then serenely take Michael's boat to the other side.

http://33.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8fuc ... o1_500.gif

What's an African American? Some kinda of a half breed muslim from Kenya?

Andrew,

Ask the nurses for some pen and paper, and copy this down and mail it out:

Dear Madam-President-to-be Clinton:

For most of my life, I've smoked and drunk too much. For the last few decades, the only time I've had sex is when I've paid for it. Because of my poor choices in life, I'm consuming more than my fair share of medicare's resources. I'd like you to institute a penalty for miscreants like me so that we pay a penalty of thousands of dollars every year to get our medicare.

Your admirer,...

But I don't use medicare. I'm a veteran of foreign wars. The VA takes good care of me but I'm in perfect health and don't need them either. You're in your 60's, right? It's all downhill now for you because Jews don't eat right. You need Pork!!!

I was leaning towards calling this one for Hammer, but then Andy came back with the high heat. So I see it all tied up.

DikTracy6000 wrote:I was leaning towards calling this one for Hammer, but then Andy came back with the high heat. So I see it all tied up.

I am striking the last comment from each and saying that they should continue.

Ok Andrew, ask the nurse again for paper and pen, and write this note to our soon to be Ms. Commander-in-Chief:

Dear Madam-President-to-be Clinton:

I was in the navy during the Korean War, janitorial duty. Many of the stories you've heard about what happens with so many men out to sea for so many months are true. I've carried that shame with me for my entire adult life, and blame my failed nine marriages on my failing to deal with the shame. Anyway, with a sensitive woman President, I'd feel as if I could come out and tell my story and banish my demons. For that reason, along with my lifelong support of the equal rights amendment and affirmative action, I pray you will be our next President.

Your admirer,...

You were told and you took oaths to tell the truth. Even seeahill made it clear that fiction writers like you(lawyers), just make shit up. Now stop before you get disbarred again.

Dang I was kinda wanting to get in on this but these two ain't playin'. We've got sophiscated Bruce Lee style verbal kung fu from the Hammer versus Jack Dempsey style shots to the liver by Andrew. We need this to play out for the full 15 rounds with no outside interference.

Hebrew Hammer wrote:Tzom kal.

Tzom kal yourself! Pork loin wrapped in bacon at Shapecharge's place, Smoked in his big green egg that he got for father's day in 2006. Contact Shape for permission to attend.

OK. Rather than engage in theological debate, let's leave it that we each observe our Judaism differently. Shana tova.

OK but neither Shape nor I are Judism guys.

Andy81 wrote:OK but neither Shape nor I are Judism guys.

Andrew,

While I don't condone it -- especially right after Yom Kippur -- I'll play along with your I'm just your ordinary goy routine.

To show you I don't hold a grudge, here's a tip.

Next time you guys take a field trip to the mall, ask the chaperone to wheel you to the book store. Hillary just wrote a book, and word has it that she titled it with a double entendre that only gentlemen of your age would pick up on: Hard Choices. Buy the book. When you get back to the home, ask the nurse to bring you pen, paper, and a large envelope. Write this letter:

Dear Madam-President-to-be Clinton:

I just bought your book. Males my age "get" the title, and we appreciate it. Would you please sign it, and put a dab of your perfume on the cover page. Then, forgive me this request as I'm a shriveled old man, would you be kind enough to touch the page to, well, you know where?

I know you won't think less of me for telling you this: I get one happy pill a month here at the home. I'll use your book as my reading "companion" after I take my pill.

Thank you so much. I'm still furious that Bill was such a lout to you. I still fume whenever I think about it.

Your admirer,...

All fiction about me. She llkes muslims way better than Jews too. Defect now before it's too late. You need to go Jehova's witness.

Andy81 wrote:All fiction about me. She llkes muslims way better than Jews too. Defect now before it's too late. You need to go Jehova's witness.

Andrew,

We'll keep all this "fictitional" stuff just between you, me, and the nurses.

In the meanwhile, Hillary won't be elected for two more years. But Harry and Nancy need you NOW. The Koch brothers are trying to buy the elections. And, if that happens, guess what will happen to your ration of one happy pill a month. Kiss it goodbye.

They need you to send in a check for $1000, NOW. As your friend, though, I need to tell you that sending them $1000 will put you on the Republican enemies list. So make the check out to me personally, and I'll forward it to Harry and Nancy and keep your name out of it.

Don't tell anyone at the home you're doing this. Any one of them is likely to rat you out to the Republican dirty tricks team. On this one, trust only, me, Harry, and Nancy.

Are you as an officer of the courts trying to get me to be a criminal?

So I take you have conceded.

I'm trying to help you and you're just being mean. I gave you an idea for a Hillary picture that you could use as your companion for your happy pill day. I offered to get you on the inside with Nancy and Harry, perhaps even put in a pitch for two happy pills a month at the VA. But all I get is FUs.

How about this? During the Korean war, what kind of a ship did you serve on as the latrine supervisor? I'll try to get a photo of that so you can use it as your fantasy companion on happy pill days. What happens on board stays on board, but you always have the memories.

By the way, do they have a succa at your home? Are there other Jews there than you?