go eagles!

Topics without replies are pruned every 365 days. Not moderated.

Moderator: Dux


Topic author
dead man walking
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 6797
Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2008 10:34 pm

go eagles!

Post by dead man walking »

Philadelphia Eagles Fan Steals Disabled Veteran's Prosthetic Leg
Really Big Strong Guy: There are a plethora of psychopaths among us.


The Ginger Beard Man
Sgt. Major
Posts: 4376
Joined: Sat Oct 11, 2008 3:27 pm
Location: 4th largest city in America

Re: go eagles!

Post by The Ginger Beard Man »

dead man walking wrote:
Philadelphia Eagles Fan Steals Disabled Veteran's Prosthetic Leg
That is so completely unsurprising. :finga:
Blaidd Drwg wrote:Disengage from the outcome and do work.
Jezzy Bell wrote:Use a fucking barbell, pansy.


Topic author
dead man walking
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 6797
Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2008 10:34 pm

Re: go eagles!

Post by dead man walking »

that's nothing compared to what the iggles did to the giants.
Really Big Strong Guy: There are a plethora of psychopaths among us.


Old Mother
Staff Sergeant
Posts: 329
Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 9:53 pm

Re: go eagles!

Post by Old Mother »

That guy was a patient of mine. Not kidding either.


Topic author
dead man walking
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 6797
Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2008 10:34 pm

Re: go eagles!

Post by dead man walking »

the guy who lost his leg was your patient? far out.

my brother who lives in philly thinks the incident might be kinky foreplay gone bad.

i like this hypothesis
Really Big Strong Guy: There are a plethora of psychopaths among us.


Topic author
dead man walking
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 6797
Joined: Tue Aug 05, 2008 10:34 pm

Re: go eagles!

Post by dead man walking »

the full story: classic soul, babe magnet, lap dance, excess alcohol.
SONNY FORRIEST Jr., still wearing his trademark "Ridin' Dirty" Eagles jersey from the night before, sat in his Ogontz home Monday, reflecting on how his 57th birthday party in a Lincoln Financial Field parking lot turned surreal when a woman stole his prosthetic left leg.

Forriest, a Vietnam-era veteran, smiled wearily after a sleepless night and cradled the leg, which police had returned to him at 3 a.m. after a SEPTA cleaning crew found it on a Broad Street Line subway train at Fern Rock.

Forriest said he spent Sunday doing his Eagles home-game thing, sitting in his motorized wheelchair, serenading tailgaters by singing along to classic soul tracks on his boombox, when a young woman ran up and plopped herself into his lap.

That was not unusual, Forriest said, because when he's delivering his sensual rendition of the Sugarhill Gang's "Rapper's Delight," he's a babe magnet.

Like his dad, Sonny Forriest Sr., he spent years touring as a guitarist with Philly soul bands, and he's still got the chops to prove it.

Hours before game time, Forriest said, he was jamming on guitar with his longtime pal Tony Cartwright on bass when "a beautiful girl ran up. Her name was Ashley. I pulled my leg off and said, 'You're so pretty, I give you my leg.' She laughed. I set it on my chair. We danced."

But hours later, during the Eagles' 27-0 demolition of the Giants, the girl who gave Forriest a spontaneous lap dance was no Ashley.

"She came out of nowhere and jumped into my lap," Forriest said. "She was inebriated, really toasted. She was a brunette. She was knockout-gorgeous.

"She started wiggling that butt on my junk," he said, and smiled. "But her wiggling broke my mic. Some of these girls aren't wrapped too tight, man, especially when they get toasted.

"All of a sudden, she grabbed my leg, ran off and disappeared. No respect for an older person or a disabled person."

Forriest got home at 1:30 a.m. with the help of his godsons Aaron and Ethan Simmons. The police called to tell him they had the leg at the 24th and Wolf station.

"Officer Valentine helped me walk in," Forriest said. "This lady was strong. I told her, 'Good things come in small packages.' " He finally got home with his leg at 5:30 a.m.

Forriest does not want to see the perp behind bars.

"I want her to apologize and I want to see her work at a veterans hospital, among people who have lost an arm or a leg," Forriest said.

"These young kids drink too much," he said. "Go ahead and get a brain instead of a beer bottle. Don't be like the Scarecrow in 'The Wizard of Oz.' "

Forriest said that when the news about his stolen leg went viral on social media, people who had witnessed Ashley's innocent dance with him mistakenly assumed she was the culprit.

"Ashley called me and said people were saying she stole it, which is not true," Forriest said gallantly. "It made her really upset."
Really Big Strong Guy: There are a plethora of psychopaths among us.


Ryan
Sgt. Major
Posts: 2941
Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:53 pm

Re: go eagles!

Post by Ryan »

Fuck the Eagles.
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” -George Carlin

User avatar

buckethead
Sergeant Commanding
Posts: 6638
Joined: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:25 pm
Location: The Rockies

Re: go eagles!

Post by buckethead »

Old Mother wrote:That guy was a patient of mine. Not kidding either.
dead man walking wrote: the guy who lost his leg was your patient? far out.
Unfortunately he went in for just a sprained ankle


Old Mother
Staff Sergeant
Posts: 329
Joined: Fri Aug 07, 2009 9:53 pm

Re: go eagles!

Post by Old Mother »

buckethead wrote:
Old Mother wrote:That guy was a patient of mine. Not kidding either.
dead man walking wrote: the guy who lost his leg was your patient? far out.
Unfortunately he went in for just a sprained ankle

Actually, he stopped in just to get directions.

User avatar

Turdacious
Lifetime IGer
Posts: 21247
Joined: Thu Mar 17, 2005 6:54 am
Location: Upon the eternal throne of the great Republic of Turdistan

Re: go eagles!

Post by Turdacious »

Since when is a theft in South Philly news?
"Liberalism is arbitrarily selective in its choice of whose dignity to champion." Adrian Vermeule

Post Reply