IGX

A well meaning admirer once asked John Cheever, "What did you learn from Ernest Hemingway?" Cheever replied, "I learned not to blow my head off with a shotgun." That is cruel, and funny, and really, no lie, a good thing to learn. Of course that isn't really all that Cheever learned from Hemingway. Cheever did OK and lived longer than Hemingway. Hemingway did not live long but he did prosper: Hemingway won a Nobel prize, everyone knows who Hemingway is and has an opinion on his work. Hell, Hemingway made this thread!

This discussion can rapidly reduce to the Robin Williams discussion. On the one side you have some compassion for a brilliant guy whose work you enjoyed. On the other side, you are angry at a guy for failing to soldier up and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I am very familiar with both sides of the argument, because when I was younger, I took the side of the "fuck that selfish bastard" when this discussion came around when some talented celebrity, or friend, killed himself. As an older fool, at this point in time, I am deeply embarrassed by that, and many other things I was quite sure about and confidently cocking off about. My opinion could change back some day - if I live long enough maybe it will - who knows. But for now, I look at those clueless, harsh remarks I made along the lines of "What the hell is water?"

Wallace struggled and obviously eventually succumbed to addiction / depression / mental illness. I think most anyone would take everything he says with a grain of salt; in fact I personally I take everything everyone says, including myself, with a grain of salt. With the internet and social media, there has never been a better time for a lot of grains of salt. Nobody's perfect but man everybody is talking.

Think of the context, inside his head. I think like for most people, looking out at that audience had to be like looking into a time machine mirror, like looking at himself across miles of years. I think at that point in his life he knew damn well that he wasn't some wise old fish.

Now most would agree he's a witty guy with an effortless command of the language. Imagine how easy it would have been for him to just take the standard, trite, tired "you are the future" bullshit and dress it up a bit. People have an almost unlimited appetite for that kind of junk food, it is why american idol is popular. Everyone would have said "Great talk" and forgotten it in ten minutes.

I think instead he decides to take a big risk and be real, and tell, or warn, the children that there are things they aren't even slightly aware of, that in his experience will be of incredible importance to them in some miles / years. Not that he has mastered anything! Just that he's aware of a fabric of the world he had no idea about when he was sitting in their shoes, he wants them to see this sooner than later or not at all. He talks about some heavy and hard to grasp ideas in an original, entertaining, and compelling way. People are still talking about it.

Here's one from an IGX laureate:

April 22, 1958

57 Perry Street
New York City

Dear Hume,

You ask advice: ah, what a very human and very dangerous thing to do! For to give advice to a man who asks what to do with his life implies something very close to egomania. To presume to point a man to the right and ultimate goal— to point with a trembling finger in the RIGHT direction is something only a fool would take upon himself.

I am not a fool, but I respect your sincerity in asking my advice. I ask you though, in listening to what I say, to remember that all advice can only be a product of the man who gives it. What is truth to one may be disaster to another. I do not see life through your eyes, nor you through mine. If I were to attempt to give you specific advice, it would be too much like the blind leading the blind.

“To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, or to take arms against a sea of troubles … ” (Shakespeare)

And indeed, that IS the question: whether to float with the tide, or to swim for a goal. It is a choice we must all make consciously or unconsciously at one time in our lives. So few people understand this! Think of any decision you’ve ever made which had a bearing on your future: I may be wrong, but I don’t see how it could have been anything but a choice however indirect— between the two things I’ve mentioned: the floating or the swimming.

But why not float if you have no goal? That is another question. It is unquestionably better to enjoy the floating than to swim in uncertainty. So how does a man find a goal? Not a castle in the stars, but a real and tangible thing. How can a man be sure he’s not after the “big rock candy mountain,” the enticing sugar-candy goal that has little taste and no substance?

The answer— and, in a sense, the tragedy of life— is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It’s not the fireman who has changed, but you. Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience. As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes. This goes on and on. Every reaction is a learning process; every significant experience alters your perspective.

So it would seem foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day? How could we ever hope to accomplish anything other than galloping neurosis?

The answer, then, must not deal with goals at all, or not with tangible goals, anyway. It would take reams of paper to develop this subject to fulfillment. God only knows how many books have been written on “the meaning of man” and that sort of thing, and god only knows how many people have pondered the subject. (I use the term “god only knows” purely as an expression.) There’s very little sense in my trying to give it up to you in the proverbial nutshell, because I’m the first to admit my absolute lack of qualifications for reducing the meaning of life to one or two paragraphs.

I’m going to steer clear of the word “existentialism,” but you might keep it in mind as a key of sorts. You might also try something called Being and Nothingness by Jean-Paul Sartre, and another little thing calledExistentialism: From Dostoyevsky to Sartre. These are merely suggestions. If you’re genuinely satisfied with what you are and what you’re doing, then give those books a wide berth. (Let sleeping dogs lie.) But back to the answer. As I said, to put our faith in tangible goals would seem to be, at best, unwise. So we do not strive to be firemen, we do not strive to be bankers, nor policemen, nor doctors. WE STRIVE TO BE OURSELVES.

But don’t misunderstand me. I don’t mean that we can’t BE firemen, bankers, or doctors— but that we must make the goal conform to the individual, rather than make the individual conform to the goal. In every man, heredity and environment have combined to produce a creature of certain abilities and desires— including a deeply ingrained need to function in such a way that his life will be MEANINGFUL. A man has to BE something; he has to matter.

As I see it then, the formula runs something like this: a man must choose a path which will let his ABILITIES function at maximum efficiency toward the gratification of his DESIRES. In doing this, he is fulfilling a need (giving himself identity by functioning in a set pattern toward a set goal), he avoids frustrating his potential (choosing a path which puts no limit on his self-development), and he avoids the terror of seeing his goal wilt or lose its charm as he draws closer to it (rather than bending himself to meet the demands of that which he seeks, he has bent his goal to conform to his own abilities and desires).

In short, he has not dedicated his life to reaching a pre-defined goal, but he has rather chosen a way of life he KNOWS he will enjoy. The goal is absolutely secondary: it is the functioning toward the goal which is important. And it seems almost ridiculous to say that a man MUST function in a pattern of his own choosing; for to let another man define your own goals is to give up one of the most meaningful aspects of life— the definitive act of will which makes a man an individual.

Let’s assume that you think you have a choice of eight paths to follow (all pre-defined paths, of course). And let’s assume that you can’t see any real purpose in any of the eight. THEN— and here is the essence of all I’ve said— you MUST FIND A NINTH PATH.

Naturally, it isn’t as easy as it sounds. You’ve lived a relatively narrow life, a vertical rather than a horizontal existence. So it isn’t any too difficult to understand why you seem to feel the way you do. But a man who procrastinates in his CHOOSING will inevitably have his choice made for him by circumstance.

So if you now number yourself among the disenchanted, then you have no choice but to accept things as they are, or to seriously seek something else. But beware of looking for goals: look for a way of life. Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living WITHIN that way of life. But you say, “I don’t know where to look; I don’t know what to look for.”

And there’s the crux. Is it worth giving up what I have to look for something better? I don’t know— is it? Who can make that decision but you? But even by DECIDING TO LOOK, you go a long way toward making the choice.

If I don’t call this to a halt, I’m going to find myself writing a book. I hope it’s not as confusing as it looks at first glance. Keep in mind, of course, that this is MY WAY of looking at things. I happen to think that it’s pretty generally applicable, but you may not. Each of us has to create our own credo— this merely happens to be mine.

If any part of it doesn’t seem to make sense, by all means call it to my attention. I’m not trying to send you out “on the road” in search of Valhalla, but merely pointing out that it is not necessary to accept the choices handed down to you by life as you know it. There is more to it than that— no one HAS to do something he doesn’t want to do for the rest of his life. But then again, if that’s what you wind up doing, by all means convince yourself that you HAD to do it. You’ll have lots of company.

And that’s it for now. Until I hear from you again, I remain,

your friend,
Hunter

Siddhartha-Herman Hesse

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

by Someone Who Have Thought Hunter S Thompson to be a Pussy

I've re-read a few things recently and a few are still easy to read, make me think, ponder deep sh*t (at least I think it's deep)... others, I just couldn't get into anymore.

Here are a few I can still re-read (that are SHORT):
Old Man and The Sea
Man's Search for Meaning
Night
Lord of The Flies
The Road (might not be short, but I thought it was a very fast read)

Turdacious wrote:

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on that sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

by Someone Who Have Thought Hunter S Thompson to be a Pussy

Uh, Dylan Thomas? The definition of a sentimental pussy ass nigga? Hunter--no tough guy fo sure--was at least an airman.

Fat Cat wrote:Uh, Dylan Thomas? The definition of a sentimental pussy ass nigga? Hunter--no tough guy fo sure--was at least an airman.

Thompson shot himself on a weekend when his kids and grandkids came over for a visit, and did it in a way that his son had to find him.

His suicide note:

"No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun — for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your (old) age. Relax — This won't hurt."

Fuck that self absorbed piece of shit.

I'm not defending him, I'm not even a fan. I'm laughing at your Dylan dick sucking.