IGX

lack of focus is not the problem, merely the symption.

sounds like what you need is meaning. consider this:

In a section of his 1843 masterwork Either/Or: A Fragment of Life, . . . Kierkegaard, . . . the Danish philosopher defines boredom as a sense of emptiness and examines it not as an absence of stimulation but as an absence of meaning – an idea that also explains why it's possible, today more than ever, to be overstimulated but existentially bored.

i doubt a self-help book will help.

It's not a bad job but I definitely never imagined I would spend the majority of my life sitting in a chair staring at a monitor. I am Walter Mitty, but, unfortunately, I don't know if I will ever break free and be able to do the things I want to do or have a career that I enjoy. You know how it goes, kids, mortgage, debt, etc. I am existing rather than living. Oh, if I could do it again.

I am already preaching to my daughter, who says that she doesn't want an office job and wants to explore and live life, to not ever get in debt. No debt equals freedom.

dead man walking wrote:lack of focus is not the problem, merely the symption.

sounds like what you need is meaning. consider this:

In a section of his 1843 masterwork Either/Or: A Fragment of Life, . . . Kierkegaard, . . . the Danish philosopher defines boredom as a sense of emptiness and examines it not as an absence of stimulation but as an absence of meaning – an idea that also explains why it's possible, today more than ever, to be overstimulated but existentially bored.

i doubt a self-help book will help.

Mickey O'neil wrote:Oh, if I could do it again.

groundhog day, mick.

you get to start over every day.

good luck, and let me know when figure it out.

dead man walking wrote:

Mickey O'neil wrote:Oh, if I could do it again.

groundhog day, mick.

you get to start over every day.

good luck, and let me know when figure it out.

Heh, thanks, dmw. I will!

Mickey O'neil wrote:Oh, if I could do it again.

Actually, there is a good book about this:
STRANGE LIFE OF IVAN OSOKIN

Not exactly the same situation as you Mick, but I started over. Total re-start.
Has been as tough as fuck, but worth every moment.

Could have a been kinder trip if a few 'luck of the draw' things went the other way, instead of compounding against the journey. But otherwise every 'setback' has been a goldmine of discovery and I wouldn't change a thing.

Those 'standing on the bridge, about to end it all' moments have always, always, been followed closely by experiences so fucking cool that I still think they were a dream. As long as I stated on-purpose, the shit times were transient and the experiences of wonder which followed outshone any darkness. Gotta keep this in mind. That and, the fact that we take nothing with us when we leave.

dead man walking wrote:lack of focus is not the problem, merely the symption.

Are you really sure?

Cayenne wrote:David Reynolds various writings on Constructive Living.

Ok, I just read his book. A definite A+ read. The one short essay that is really sticking is the idea of the circle of control. On the inside are thoughts, feelings and emotions, which flit about and come and go with a mind of their own, so to speak. On the outside are all of the externalities. In between is behavior, and that is what we control 100%.

Lots of free reading available.
http://www.constructiveliving.org/

The Venerable Bogatir X wrote:The One Thing

Just bought and read this. Great book.

Teaches to ask the question:What's the one thing you can do [timeframe] such that by doing it everything else would be easier or unnecessary? The question is a bit clunky, but the idea is to focus on the one thing that will make a difference in the moment, in the short and long run, to move you toward what matters most.

In some ways, it's like all self-help books: Take charge of your life; figure out what's important to you; and plan and do the things that move you toward those important things. Where it differs is its recommendation to focus everything laser-like on the one thing to do, damn leading a balanced life that means never giving the [one thing the attention it deserves. (7 Habits, for example, has you posit 7 roles, and goals for each, along with goals for physical, social, and spiritual life.)

Even though I've read dozens of self-help books and at one point or another listened to practically half the Nightingale-Conant offerings, the book made a big difference for me. One part of that is the idea of the ONE THING forced me to narrow my vision - life pulls your attentions wide and everything draws down your energy. The other part is that all good self help books help pick you up from the entropy that's always pulling you down.

For example, I'm a partner in a restaurant chain and we're always focusing on doing dozens of things better. I decided my focus is shifting to rapid growth. On everything else I'm doing, I plan to shift to one big goal and to eliminate things that aren't top important too me.

Thanks for suggesting book.

Hebrew Hammer wrote:

The Venerable Bogatir X wrote:The One Thing

Just bought and read this. Great book.

Teaches to ask the question:What's the one thing you can do [timeframe] such that by doing it everything else would be easier or unnecessary? The question is a bit clunky, but the idea is to focus on the one thing that will make a difference in the moment, in the short and long run, to move you toward what matters most.

In some ways, it's like all self-help books: Take charge of your life; figure out what's important to you; and plan and do the things that move you toward those important things. Where it differs is its recommendation to focus everything laser-like on the one thing to do, damn leading a balanced life that means never giving the [one thing the attention it deserves. (7 Habits, for example, has you posit 7 roles, and goals for each, along with goals for physical, social, and spiritual life.)

Even though I've read dozens of self-help books and at one point or another listened to practically half the Nightingale-Conant offerings, the book made a big difference for me. One part of that is the idea of the ONE THING forced me to narrow my vision - life pulls your attentions wide and everything draws down your energy. The other part is that all good self help books help pick you up from the entropy that's always pulling you down.

For example, I'm a partner in a restaurant chain and we're always focusing on doing dozens of things better. I decided my focus is shifting to rapid growth. On everything else I'm doing, I plan to shift to one big goal and to eliminate things that aren't top important too me.

Thanks for suggesting book.

Glad you got something out of it, too.

My head is always all over the place except when it comes to work (technical recruiter) which is so easy to get bogged down in admin or a million other degrees of bullshit; but I always focus on closest to the close and don't waiver from that. Sometimes that doesn't make me the most popular person in a given moment, but keeps me popular over all because I get shit done. I got that from a mentor, not T1T, but T1T certainly validates things for me.

Now that I've patted myself on the back, I have to say turning this skill toward my many cravings in life has been a more challenging matter.

T1T + Constructive Living is a pretty nice 1/2 punch.

Hebrew Hammer wrote: I'm a partner in a restaurant chain and we're always focusing on doing dozens of things better. I decided my focus is shifting to rapid growth. On everything else I'm doing, I plan to shift to one big goal and to eliminate things that aren't top important too me.

Along those lines, my wife's company is using The Four Disciplines of Execution. It gives a "how" for organizations to pursue their select few "WIGs," Wildly Important Goals.

On the personal level, I am enjoying Scott Adams' How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big.

Hebrew Hammer wrote:

The Venerable Bogatir X wrote:The One Thing

Just bought and read this. Great book.

Teaches to ask the question:What's the one thing you can do [timeframe] such that by doing it everything else would be easier or unnecessary? The question is a bit clunky, but the idea is to focus on the one thing that will make a difference in the moment, in the short and long run, to move you toward what matters most.

In some ways, it's like all self-help books: Take charge of your life; figure out what's important to you; and plan and do the things that move you toward those important things. Where it differs is its recommendation to focus everything laser-like on the one thing to do, damn leading a balanced life that means never giving the [one thing the attention it deserves. (7 Habits, for example, has you posit 7 roles, and goals for each, along with goals for physical, social, and spiritual life.)

Even though I've read dozens of self-help books and at one point or another listened to practically half the Nightingale-Conant offerings, the book made a big difference for me. One part of that is the idea of the ONE THING forced me to narrow my vision - life pulls your attentions wide and everything draws down your energy. The other part is that all good self help books help pick you up from the entropy that's always pulling you down.

For example, I'm a partner in a restaurant chain and we're always focusing on doing dozens of things better. I decided my focus is shifting to rapid growth. On everything else I'm doing, I plan to shift to one big goal and to eliminate things that aren't top important too me.

Thanks for suggesting book.

Bump for Mickey. "The One Thing."

Thanks, Nappy! I'll be ordering this shortly. Sounds like it may help me a great deal.

The Venerable Bogatir X wrote:

Hebrew Hammer wrote:

The Venerable Bogatir X wrote:The One Thing

Just bought and read this. Great book.

Teaches to ask the question:What's the one thing you can do [timeframe] such that by doing it everything else would be easier or unnecessary? The question is a bit clunky, but the idea is to focus on the one thing that will make a difference in the moment, in the short and long run, to move you toward what matters most.

In some ways, it's like all self-help books: Take charge of your life; figure out what's important to you; and plan and do the things that move you toward those important things. Where it differs is its recommendation to focus everything laser-like on the one thing to do, damn leading a balanced life that means never giving the [one thing the attention it deserves. (7 Habits, for example, has you posit 7 roles, and goals for each, along with goals for physical, social, and spiritual life.)

Even though I've read dozens of self-help books and at one point or another listened to practically half the Nightingale-Conant offerings, the book made a big difference for me. One part of that is the idea of the ONE THING forced me to narrow my vision - life pulls your attentions wide and everything draws down your energy. The other part is that all good self help books help pick you up from the entropy that's always pulling you down.

For example, I'm a partner in a restaurant chain and we're always focusing on doing dozens of things better. I decided my focus is shifting to rapid growth. On everything else I'm doing, I plan to shift to one big goal and to eliminate things that aren't top important too me.

Thanks for suggesting book.

Bump for Mickey. "The One Thing."

if I could do it over again I would.
1) get a 40 hr a week job vs 70-80 hr. Most likely teach.
2) focus and be present in the times I was not at that job
The money I made made things easier for my wife and kids but left me an empty vessel.
I think I could have given them nearly the same and left me half full vs empty. Now the kids are grown and self sufficient there is not much for me to do of substance and I struggle with that. Raising quality people was my and my wife's goals and we did that together. I never thought what to do when that was done. Swinging the kettlebell and squatting is not filling the void.

louburr wrote:. Swinging the kettlebell and squatting is not filling the void.

Heh. Reminds me of something a friend said, explaining why he didn't like solo camping.

"A little too much infinite void."

louburr wrote:if I could do it over again I would.
1) get a 40 hr a week job vs 70-80 hr. Most likely teach.
2) focus and be present in the times I was not at that job
The money I made made things easier for my wife and kids but left me an empty vessel.
I think I could have given them nearly the same and left me half full vs empty. Now the kids are grown and self sufficient there is not much for me to do of substance and I struggle with that. Raising quality people was my and my wife's goals and we did that together. I never thought what to do when that was done. Swinging the kettlebell and squatting is not filling the void.

Goddamn...I hear ya, bother.

I'm lucky in that my work is like crack to me.....it's a rush to book business, solve problems, and help people in their careers & I do it all 100% from home. I make good enough money and my wife doesn't have to work/gets to fully raise the kiddos vs. daycare, ect. The cost associated is a lot of 'what if?' thinking about things during down time and pressure to deliver, but I had that problem with every other job in my life so that's a 'me' issue, not a work issue. #2 is definitely a work in progress for me.

Kazuya Mishima wrote:

louburr wrote:if I could do it over again I would.
1) get a 40 hr a week job vs 70-80 hr. Most likely teach.
2) focus and be present in the times I was not at that job
The money I made made things easier for my wife and kids but left me an empty vessel.
I think I could have given them nearly the same and left me half full vs empty. Now the kids are grown and self sufficient there is not much for me to do of substance and I struggle with that. Raising quality people was my and my wife's goals and we did that together. I never thought what to do when that was done. Swinging the kettlebell and squatting is not filling the void.

Goddamn...I hear ya, bother.

ROMAN HISTORY!

You think I kid, but I do not kid.

Start with I, Claudius and then Seutonius and you are off and running.

nafod wrote:

louburr wrote:. Swinging the kettlebell and squatting is not filling the void.

Heh. Reminds me of something a friend said, explaining why he didn't like solo camping.

"A little too much infinite void."

Of course that was why.

nafod wrote:

louburr wrote:. Swinging the kettlebell and squatting is not filling the void.

Heh. Reminds me of something a friend said, explaining why he didn't like solo camping.

"A little too much infinite void."

Shape spoiled him.