IGX

I am not interested in a debate on gender identities, polyamory, etc.

What did come out of reading this, particularly the quoted parts, is re-examining what I'm doing because I'm supposed to. How does this apply to you? Would you rather be saying: "Fuck it, I'm gonna dress like a viking and write haikus!"

I will be smoking [low-strength] weed and doing laundry. Hit me with some thoughts!!

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The three parts that stood out to me:

* Alina [married, polgyamist] says, “Why is it that we’re always ‘brainwashed’ unless we’re choosing the way they think?”

* In 1989—the case of Braschi v. Stahl. Miguel Braschi was being evicted from the rent-controlled apartment he and his partner shared, after the partner died, of AIDS. The landlord contended that the lease was transferrable only to family, and that Braschi wasn’t family. Braschi sued. The judge issued a stunningly progressive ruling saying that family should be based on the reality of daily life—these two men lived together, shared finances, took care of each other—and not on “fictitious legal distinctions,” such as marriage certificates.

* Cal [trans-gender, polyamorist] said, “The thing that I wanted was a family. And I didn’t want to get married or have children. And it turns out you can still have a family, even if you’re not getting married and having children.”

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2021 ... mily-norms

One example of "Doing what i'm supposed to," that was a regret:

Fresh out of college, and a newly employed trainer, I went to massage school to learn anatomy. I loved it. Loved giving massages. Loved focusing on having other people feel great after. But I told myself, "you have to focus on one thing." So I never once did it commercially, and let a passion die on the vine.

I don't think you have to focus on one thing anymore (read "Range" and "Dark Horse"), but it was a robot-mind decision to act that way.