IGX

Shapecharge wrote:And, since Furman is basically in the business anyway with set layout, lighting, etc. we can cut costs tremendously by having him star in the movie and do all the production work too. With product placement like the Greek Rice Krispy treats and other items like kookyballz, stretchybands etc. it's mo money mo money mo money!

And since he has no problem showing off his sugar momma's tatas, we should have no problem getting frequent titty shots.

tough old man wrote:Grilling his rock star kills on the BGE? Famous Paleo. With a chocolate martini.

A chocolate martini... not shaken, stirred... with a knife... using badass technique so seductive that everyone from hot big tittied chicks to overweight Ohio lawyers take their tops off within seconds of watching.

This is going to be like that show Strike Back, but with shaggy hair and knife fights instead of Brits shooting Pakis.

This movie, if brought to the big screen, has the potential to become the 2nd greatest movie of all time.

You mean second to Caddyshack 2, right?

Serious question. Should we let Tom do his own stunts? We're gonna be on a shoestring budget this first go-round so there's not a lot of room for crash pads and wire harness thingys. Unless that sexy artist of Tom's busts out a few more paintings rather than her milk cans, to help finance things, it's gonna be tight.

I haven't been around here that long, but isn't it more a question of whether you can keep Tom from doing his own stunts? He seems the type to want to jump off the building himself instead of have someone else do it for him.

And you can get his artist to contribute, sans cans, by drawing up the movie poster.

I'm no artist but even I can do an appropriate poster. Just PhotoShop his face onto a picture of bronson.

Remember in Forrest Gump, when they somehow got Forrest into an interaction with JFK?

Is there a way to get some old Bronson footage and have some sort of an inter-generational bad ass interaction between these two? Out of the budget?

We could have a scene where Tom ingests some 'shrooms to free his mind from the shackles that the conscious mind places on him in order to take his knife fighting skills to a new undiscovered level and during this time he has a vision quest with Mr. Bronson and they fight only to eventually become one with each other. Like that scene in the Trial of Billy Jack. Quite possibly one of the greatest movies ever made.

I just spontaneously took my top off and had to check this thread. Crazy.

Where does Iggy Pop fit into all of this?

You're forgetting the Shaggy-tastic comeback training montage with a 12kg bell.

I can help, I have a couple of credits on IMDB.

Plus, I can fill in for the money shots. There will be money shots, right?

This is the what is great about a "collaborative creative effort"! We're gonna have knife fighting, lots of it against huge mutant Navy SEAL's gone mad. We're gonna have sexy big-tittied artists in danger and their smooth milky white jugs will be falling out all over each scene. There'll be quite moments when our hero Tom Furman will take a moment to tell us how to stretch and warm up properly using bands and kookyballz before another knife-fighting beatdown has to be dispensed against renegade SEAL Team 12 members (twice as deadly as Team 6 and four times more secret) that insist on having their pictures drawn by Tom's babe. There will be a car chase or two but not too rowdy because I'm still making payments on my tricked out '01 Civic Si. And yes, full on porn with double...no fuck that, triple penetration and money shots galore. Who's got a decent HD camcorder to get this shit started?

Like Spencer had Hawk, The Equalizer had Miky Costmyer Tom neeeds a buddy on the edge of the law he calls in when it gets real ugly.

PRO-PAIN!

Scene 26: Furmanator is captured trying to rescue big titty artists who are being held in an abandoned movie theater. Sidekick, disguised as a pizza deliveryman, delivers 22 large pizzas and slips Furman a knife, distracting the guards by arguing with them about which Slayer album was the best.
Furman escapes by picking up the knife with his bare feet and unpicking his lock. While the guards are distracted, he fashions a larger knife out of his own hair and stabs both guards in his escape.

Scene 31: After covering himself with SPF 257 sunscreen, Furman practices martial arts while dousing himself head to toe with Mandom, because this time he's fucking serious dammit!

Scene 32: Furmanator and sidekick drive up to a separate secret warehouse location in an old Volvo with two carseats in the back. As the Seals laugh at the Volvo, the sidekick reaches back and grabs a propain tank from one of the carseats, tossing it out the driver's side window and over the car. While the tank is crossing the hood, Furman simultaneously throws a knife at the tank, knocking off the safety valve, while dropping a open Death Wish II lighter on the ground. As the tank flies through the air at the Seals, the trail from the burning propain ignited by the lighter reaches the tank, exploding just as the tank gets within 2 feet of the Seals-- killing them instantly. Sidekick alertly drives away so that only the fire of Furman's cologne-covered rage consumes him, not the flames from the burning propain. Sidekick makes speech about this particular Volvo being the most badass car ever built, clearly mocking the Seals who ever doubted it.

This is fucking gold right here! Turd you are the head writer for the entire series. Think of the bank we'll be making! We're bringing back Mandom baby. You can't imagine how much pussy guys will pull in wearing that shit. Product placement! We've just about got this thing written. I'm buying a 'Vette.

Foul Mouthed Productions in association with Magic Mana Int. and Golden Turd Worldwide present the first in a series of a new breed of action hero.


Shaggy Furman is The Roadie.

Co Starring:

Darth as Pro-Pain Neck Snapper
Shapecharge as the Gay Butler
Allison NYC as Anna Slurpitupuvich
Fat Cat as Claw Hammer
BZZZKR as BZZZKR
Big Peach as The Bossman
Batboy as Hispainic Badguy #1
Soupbone as The Bonebreaker
Jezabel Jones as Pecker Wrecker
Gene as the Motherfucker
Gregg Gl@ssman as Crossdick
Hebrew Hammer as the Lawyer
SAR as Doc Bulletpuller
Andy as The Old Man.

Action, Adventure, Martial Arts, Knives, Big Tits and BLOOD! Fun for the whole fucked up family!

Wrtten and Directed by Turd Fergison.


" Like Burn Notice with extreme violence, not since "Scarface" has South Florida looked so bloody on film. Excellent! 5 Studded Dildos!" - Miami Herald Film Critic Petetencious Cocksucca

Who fucking KNEW! Dylna is a writer in disguise! That right there is better writing than I've ever seen by our actual resident published writer. Hey, uhhh this whole thing was my idea so besides 60 percent of the deal I'm gonna need a better part than the gay butler. Can I at least be a "deadly" gay butler?

Done, but your down to 40%. I am ultering the deal, pray I don't alter it further.

Shapecharge wrote:Who fucking KNEW! Dylna is a writer in disguise! That right there is better writing than I've ever seen by our actual resident published writer.

Don't listen to him Dave-- I think you're a fine writer.

I still have no idea whether this movie is good or not

Other key roles:

Nappy-- head lie animal trainer
Spells-- COSTUME DESIGNER AND SNACK PROVIDER (MILK AND COOKIES OF COARSE)
T200-- pharmaceutical adviser
Maza-- because this movie needs a unicorn
Crusty & Beefy-- titty quality advisors

Can I be the tranny wrangler?