IGX

Ed Zachary wrote:Can I be the tranny wrangler?

Done.

This is the type of movie Claude Van Damme does now a days. Maybe if if we offer to do the movie in Romania like Gymkatta, Claude will sigh on for at least a cameo part. Not enough to overshaddow Tom, but to class up the movie and shit.

Shit double post.

Batboy2/75 wrote:This is the type of movie Claude Van Damme does now a days. Maybe if if we offer to do the movie in Romania like Gymkatta, Claude will sigh on for at least a cameo part. Not enough to overshaddow Tom, but to class up the movie and shit.

Segal too, we can get him to play "The Mentor" Vann Damnit can be the younger brother who fights hard but is killed by the gang in the begining of the movie.

DARTH wrote:

Batboy2/75 wrote:This is the type of movie Claude Van Damme does now a days. Maybe if if we offer to do the movie in Romania like Gymkatta, Claude will sigh on for at least a cameo part. Not enough to overshaddow Tom, but to class up the movie and shit.

Segal too, we can get him to play "The Mentor" Vann Damnit can be the younger brother who fights hard but is killed by the gang in the begining of the movie.

A good tie in is have the artist chick with big jugs as Van Damme's wife and widow. That will add some tension between Tom and the chick with the huge milky white jugs.

Segal? Why the hell not, look what he's done for the spider Silva?

No part for me?!

This movie's looking to get expensive. Between HH, Seagal, and BZRKR's feet-- we're gonna have to invest in some extra wide screen cameras to capture even two of them on screen.

Other roles:

Gav-- The Dentist (think Steve Martin in Little Shop of Horrors-- and you'll be amazed at the work he can do with just a jar of Vaseline)
Mickey-- EOD Tunnel Rat

Given that it is so topical right now I think we need a scene where our knife fighting hero happens to be at a bar frequented by the underwater swimming community delivering a new sports drink he developed that just happens to go great with vodka when a former governor comes in and is assaulted for no apparant reason causing Tom to go apeshit with a couple of butterfly knives. Not sure how to work in huge milky white titties into this scene without it seeming gratuitous. I'm hoping this movie will garner some oscar buzz so we've got to be cool with shit.

We want this thing over the top gratuitis, just like our site. Over the top, totally politicolly incorrect and full fucking on is our creed.

Let Hollywood pussyfoot, we want the kind of flicks we want to see.

You know I spelled "gratuitous" correctly in the post immediately above yours, right? But hey fuck that, it's the idea that counts. We have other flunky's to check shit like spelling like our resident published writer. Now I love your enthusiasm Dylna but remember this movie has to be profitable so it has to make sense and not be too out there or nobody will want to see it. We also have to think about our star, Tom Furman, and how this will affect his career.

Nafod as a real soldier
Garm as an imaginary soldier
Wild Bill and Andrey Kuzmin as the Russian mob carrying KBs filled with the same substance as the briefcase in Pulp Fiction
Bill 'Foxy' Fox as the layer. One flash of those ABZ to the judge gets our heroes out of jail instantly

No doubt Counselor Fox is a "layer" and also a lawyer too but as executive producer of this film I'm passing on Bill. He's been too good to associate with us anymore so why should he get a part, albiet a very small one, in the year's most anticipated action/adventure/drama? Bill may piss up a rope as far as I'm concerned. Good call on the Russian kookyballz mobster angle.

Dylna is contagious.

Gav wrote:Dylna is contagious.

I AM VIRUS! Contagion to you.
Infect, infest through and through.
I destroy form inside you.

( I wrote that as a death metal song more than 20 years ago.) And it does have to do with mind control, virus is the metaphore and when you shreik out VIRUS! in a death metal song it's allways a winner.

If Foxy will be in our movie, he'll have to provide his own shirts and shoes. If we had to do it, it would quadruple our budget.

DARTH wrote:

Gav wrote:Dylna is contagious.

I AM VIRUS! Contagion to you.
Infect, infest through and through.
I destroy form inside you.

( I wrote that as a death metal song more than 20 years ago.) And it does have to do with mind control, virus is the metaphore and when you shreik out VIRUS! in a death metal song it's allways a winner.

Allways indeed

Shape to make a truly great film you have to take chances.
Sci Fi was a nich, nerd market but Lucas pushed through his vision and made Star Wars. Now Sci Fi films are actually at the top of films that made the most $$$$$ Star Wars, Avatar, ect.

You know there are Legions of fuckers like us out there.

Be BOLD brother!

DARTH wrote:

Batboy2/75 wrote:This is the type of movie Claude Van Damme does now a days. Maybe if if we offer to do the movie in Romania like Gymkatta, Claude will sigh on for at least a cameo part. Not enough to overshaddow Tom, but to class up the movie and shit.

Segal too, we can get him to play "The Mentor" Vann Damnit can be the younger brother who fights hard but is killed by the gang in the begining of the movie.

I like the idea of advice coming from Tom's late uncle Obi-Wan-style. When our hero's in some particularly desperate situation, he hears the voice of Charles Bronson deliver some pearl of wisdom and starts kicking ass.

This would cost more, because buying the rights to any one dead actor's lines would be more expensive than paying Van Damme to do anything, but it would be worth it.

Turdacious wrote: Crusty & Beefy-- titty quality advisors

No need to worry about my inflated pay check I'll be happy to work for free.

Turdacious wrote:If Foxy will be in our movie, he'll have to provide his own shirts and shoes. If we had to do it, it would quadruple our budget.

If Foxy were to partake and things were to get out of hand with the budget (hey Fagola's I already said I'd work for free) we can just get some crippled kid in a wheelchair to show up and mouth off to the Foxy one. We all know Foxy couldn't resist tossing this kids ass down an elevator shaft and telling everyone he "didn't even break a sweat" as the coppers took him downtown.

Alright fuck. Here's the deal though. Foxy is not out of the doghouse with me so he's got to wear a half-mask like the sniper in Boardwalk but he can wear all the custom made shirt shit he wants. He's paid bare minimum. He'll probably want it in cookies-n-creme Muscle Milk and sun-tanning lotion.

Cecil B. De'Shapecharge

Shapecharge wrote:Alright fuck. Here's the deal though. Foxy is not out of the doghouse with me so he's got to wear a half-mask like the sniper in Boardwalk but he can wear all the custom made shirt shit he wants. He's paid bare minimum. He'll probably want it in cookies-n-creme Muscle Milk and sun-tanning lotion.

We'll film some gratuitous shots of him with his shirt off, all tanned and flexing and shit. They won't make the movie, but they may make the directors cut if we want to market it to the audience that's into that kind of thing.

Other characters:

Gary-- hits on artists, asking them if they'd like some chocolate with their martinis. Confuses our hero who thinks he means something else.
Monts-- artist who shows up out of nowhere. Offers to take hero and sidekick on vision quest. Sets up sweat lodge, says spiritual sounding shit, and then messes with the heads of our sleep deprived heroes until he gets bored. Disappears without warning, but may show up again for the sequel in a few years.