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Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:56 am
by seeahill
Every once in a while, a friend or associate attempts to do something you know how to do. It's generally something A MAN should know. Like chopping wood for instance. I've chopped innumerable cords of wood. Usually, when visiting male friends see me working, they say let me do it. And I do. There are little things you have to do. It's easy, but, if you haven't done it before, you might do it wrong. Or in a way that makes it more difficult.

What I do is say, "let me show you an old Indian trick." Then I chop correctly.

Showing you "the old Indian trick" is better than saying "That's all wrong, you dork." You show him and let him do it properly.

See, it's a man thing. It's thought that, as a man, you ought to know how to chop wood. And if you correct your friend, he may feel you are denigrating his manhood. How do you show him without insult? "An old Indian trick" was my go to.

So I recently had a guy help me pump up my inflatable raft. I was doing long slow strokes (oh, stop it). He moved into my position and said, "here, let me hit it with my purse." Then he did fast strokes, very quickly, and it worked much better.

So that's my new way to show guy friends who aren't doing supposedly guy type things well. "Here, let me hit it with my purse."

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:17 pm
by Shapecharge
Waking up this morning preparing for work and realizing I've lived my entire life till that shitty moment I didn't think I could fall any deeper into despair but then I read this and know that I have much further to go. I want to hit you with my purse. One with a couple of bricks in it.

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:23 pm
by nafod
"Step aside, retard" has a poignancy to it

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2020 2:35 pm
by motherjuggs&speed
"Hey. Einstein." has always been my favorite.

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2020 5:09 pm
by newguy
I'm not showing shit to anyone.

Struggle away bitches is my motto.

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Tue Sep 01, 2020 5:31 pm
by motherjuggs&speed
In keeping with the above, ~100% of the people I've shown anything to either didn't listen or went Hollywood on me if they got it faster than I did. I'm much less inclined to share knowledge than I once was.

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2020 12:02 am
by syaigh
As a female, it can be advantagous to ask someone if they want to not look like a pussy, but it strongly depends on the audience. That kind of shit can still get us killed.

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2020 2:51 am
by Bennyonesix1
syaigh wrote: Wed Sep 02, 2020 12:02 am As a female, it can be advantagous to ask someone if they want to not look like a pussy, but it strongly depends on the audience. That kind of shit can still get us killed.
You seem to live in a hyper-reality.

If a white woman isn't a coalburner the risk of being murdered is non-existent.

The risk of a white woman being murderized for calling a white dude a pussy is even less non-existent.

If the white woman lives in a white suburb and isn't a coal burner and calls a white dude a pussy it is even less non-existent.

If the white woman is as old as you and lives in a white suburb and isn't a coal burner and calls a white dude a pussy the risk is still even less non-existent.

Here are the few numbers the Feds release thanks to Obama. See table 1 and remove mexican women and black women and coal burners from female victims then see population figures.

https://www.bjs.gov/content/pub/pdf/hus11.pdf

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2020 11:47 am
by nafod
How about “let a pool boy show you how it’s done”

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2020 2:12 pm
by Shapecharge
Uhh guys and gal...these comments are validating Timmah and I was kinda hoping we could ridicule him. What's next, hand-holding and singing folk songs? What the hell happened to everyone? Where's your rage?!?

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2020 8:42 pm
by Fat Cat
Shapecharge wrote: Wed Sep 02, 2020 2:12 pm Uhh guys and gal...these comments are validating Timmah and I was kinda hoping we could ridicule him. What's next, hand-holding and singing folk songs? What the hell happened to everyone? Where's your rage?!?
The idea that timmah is showing any guy how to do man shit is so preposterous on the face of it I just struggle with any appropriate riff.

It's like any matter-of-fact stupidity, like watching a retard fall down or a woman attempt anything mechanical.

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2020 10:05 pm
by seeahill
What are some of the things A Man should be able to do? Add to the list.

Manly stuff I suck at:
Auto mechanics (apart from changing a tire)
Carpentry of any sort
Plumbing

Some stuff I can do:
Track lost people in forest areas
Ride a horse reasonably well
Tell a grizzly track from a black bear track
Set up any kind of tent you give me
Dig a snow cave

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2020 10:46 pm
by Fat Cat
How about, know when to shut the fuck up. Now go get your purse.

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Wed Sep 02, 2020 11:43 pm
by Luke
My friends and I regularly lament how by being forced into city apartment living and largely the products of parents who did everything - don't have a lot of experience with the sorts of stuff you mentioned, Tim. One of them tells a story about instead of being shown how to fix his bike, his dad would angrily replace the tyre and then bark at him not to puncture it again. Then the same dad screamed at him for being ignorant when he'd left home and asked for help replacing a tyre.

Apartments are a pretty big factor when you consider there's never space to make stuff or really keep larger tools and things of use. Also, that arrangement discourages you from maintenance work because it's someone else's property and you'll pay through the nose if you fuck up.

I cleared a clogged drain recently that made me feel pretty good.

What we do have, is YouTube.

Re: Here, let me hit it with my purse

Posted: Thu Sep 03, 2020 12:29 am
by Fat Cat
There you have it. YouTube > Timmy.