I'm a shitty mom

[nafod]

The wife has been with her mom caregiving, so I've been Mr. Mom-ing it. My son told me I had to pick up the cookie dough from the fund raiser at the Elementary, so I swung by after work and picked up the two cases and stuck them in the dining room, telling my son to hand them out tomorrow.

After my son gave them to the bus driver and neighbors, my daughter says, "Hey Dad, you did keep those overnight in the freezer, didn't you? Because it was frozen cookie dough."

"Whaaa?"

So son had to go and tell everyone to throw away their dough. I called the company to check it was bad. Yep. Bless them, they are shipping a replacement batch. Tasty Batters Cookie Dough gets my customer service good seal of approval.

I have a renewed appreciation for working moms.

[Schlegel]

I can empathize. We just moved the MIL to an assisted living facility and my wife is in the "go every day after work so they know we check up on them" phase.

[syaigh]

You're doing a fine job. Most of us moms fuck up like that on a regular basis and that's why God invented Chardonnay.

[The Ginger Beard Man]

You're doing a fine job. Most of us moms fuck up like that on a regular basis and that's why God invented Chardonnay.

Nafod, if you start drinking Chardonnay I'm sending your wife a strap-on.

[buckethead]

Tits or GTFO

[Really Big Strong Guy]

Be thankful you're doing it with a boy. I have two daughters. Got divorced when they were little and was a single father for many years "half the time". I am relishing in the fact they are teenagers now. Before that I had become one with Polly Pocket, Spongebob, Buildabear, Barbie, etc. Only manly upside, in retrospect, I was the only male mom at numerous functions where the dysfunction was epic. That's about all I should say about that.

[Protobuilder]

They were handing out cookie dough? You walk down the street and say "hey, want some cookie dough"? Do they pass out pancake batter as well.

This is odd.

[nafod]

Nafod, if you start drinking Chardonnay I'm sending your wife a strap-on.

Tits or GTFO

I do find I am spending more and more time in the bathroom in the morning, just staring at myself and wondering if I am pretty.

Also, I now have a secret desire for a hurricane so Jim Cantore can report on it and get both of us wet.

[kreator]

Did it actually go bad or were you just being overly-cautious? Both butter and eggs can be left out overnight as long as it's not ridiculously warm. Not sure what else was in there that could have made it go bad.

[Shapecharge]

Kreator: ultra-runner, oly lifter...MAD FOOD SCIENTIST?!?!?

[TerryB]

WEEPING OVER HERE!!!!!

[nafod]

Did it actually go bad or were you just being overly-cautious? Both butter and eggs can be left out overnight as long as it's not ridiculously warm. Not sure what else was in there that could have made it go bad.

When I called the company to ask they vigorously said NO, ITS BAD. DO NOT SERVE. WE'LL SEND YOU MORE.

I guess they don't want to risk CNN reporting on a mass food poisoning episode. I chucked it.

[TerryB]

NO YOU DIDN'T

WE KNOW THAT'S A LOAD OF CRAP, NAFOD

YOU SAT DOWN WITH IT ON THE COUCH AND ATE IT WITH A BIG SPOON WHILE WATCHING SOAPS AND TEXTING YOUR SUPPORT GROUP

[Mickey O'neil]

I'm an awesome dad and mom.

[nafod]

You're doing a fine job. Most of us moms fuck up like that on a regular basis and that's why God invented Chardonnay.

I've taught my kids important life lessons like breakfast can be served at any meal, and leaving the toilet seat up saves me some work and is appreciated.

[kreator]

Kreator: ultra-runner, oly lifter...MAD FOOD SCIENTIST?!?!?

LOL.
Growing up we never refrigerated butter after it was opened. Probably just a weird family thing.
We refrigerated eggs but when I studied abroad (Egypt) I used to eat a few dozen per week and they were never refrigerated.

I mean, I can understand nafod not poisoning kids and all but I woulda pounded it down myself in one go.

[Shapecharge]

At the very least make a dozen with the questionable dough and see what happens. There's more to Nafod being a mom than we think, like maybe he has a vagina.

[baffled]

Nafod, if you start drinking Chardonnay I'm sending your wife a strap-on.

Tits or GTFO

I do find I am spending more and more time in the bathroom in the morning, just staring at myself and wondering if I am pretty.

Also, I now have a secret desire for a hurricane so Jim Cantore can report on it and get both of us wet.

Have you suddenly realized that your legs are soooooo fat and you hate your ass?

[nafod]

...like maybe he has a vagina.

I do, but it's wife-operated.

[TerryB]

But do you or do you not have thick thighs?

I'm beginning to find you interesting, nafod.

[nafod]

But do you or do you not have thick thighs?

They're not perfect, but who wants physical perfection? I have personality.



I'm going to start doing dance aerobics with my girls at lunch. And then we'll go to Panera's and I'll get a couple of bear claws and gallon latte.

[Protobuilder]

Kreator: ultra-runner, oly lifter...MAD FOOD SCIENTIST?!?!?

LOL.
Growing up we never refrigerated butter after it was opened. Probably just a weird family thing.
We refrigerated eggs but when I studied abroad (Egypt) I used to eat a few dozen per week and they were never refrigerated.

I mean, I can understand nafod not poisoning kids and all but I woulda pounded it down myself in one go.

Because Americans have suppressed immune systems from too much Oprah, eggs in the US are sterilized and power washed, which removes protective coating from them. I don't think that many other countries actually refrigerate eggs - people need to remember not to eat the egg shells and to wash their hands without help from their governments.

I agree with baking up a few dozen and seeing - your colleagues would have appreciated the gesture.

[nafod]

Kreator: ultra-runner, oly lifter...MAD FOOD SCIENTIST?!?!?

LOL.
Growing up we never refrigerated butter after it was opened. Probably just a weird family thing.
We refrigerated eggs but when I studied abroad (Egypt) I used to eat a few dozen per week and they were never refrigerated.

I mean, I can understand nafod not poisoning kids and all but I woulda pounded it down myself in one go.

Because Americans have suppressed immune systems from too much Oprah, eggs in the US are sterilized and power washed, which removes protective coating from them. I don't think that many other countries actually refrigerate eggs - people need to remember not to eat the egg shells and to wash their hands without help from their governments.

I agree with baking up a few dozen and seeing - your colleagues would have appreciated the gesture.

There's 14 containers sitting out by the trash if you'll give me an address.

I'd have cooked them myself, for sure. My daughter is about a hundred times more responsible and mature than I am, and shamed me out of it.

[Protobuilder]

Kreator: ultra-runner, oly lifter...MAD FOOD SCIENTIST?!?!?

LOL.
Growing up we never refrigerated butter after it was opened. Probably just a weird family thing.
We refrigerated eggs but when I studied abroad (Egypt) I used to eat a few dozen per week and they were never refrigerated.

I mean, I can understand nafod not poisoning kids and all but I woulda pounded it down myself in one go.

Because Americans have suppressed immune systems from too much Oprah, eggs in the US are sterilized and power washed, which removes protective coating from them. I don't think that many other countries actually refrigerate eggs - people need to remember not to eat the egg shells and to wash their hands without help from their governments.

I agree with baking up a few dozen and seeing - your colleagues would have appreciated the gesture.

There's 14 containers sitting out by the trash if you'll give me an address.

I'd have cooked them myself, for sure. My daughter is about a hundred times more responsible and mature than I am, and shamed me out of it.

Do you have an apron and, if so, do you have any pictures of yourself in it?

[syaigh]

Well, I just spend the evening with a few moms. The main topics were the irrationality of teen girls, porn is good, and stress is bad.